Finished reading: The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier 📚 I wish I had read this when back when I was a manager. It would have corrected a load of my mistakes where I tried to solve everyone’s problems rather than letting others grow.
The power of knowing what you want
A few years back I read a terrible self-help book. It was one I’d never buy for myself which is probably why I didn’t like it much. BUT, it did have one useful idea.
Know exactly what you want and don’t water it down.
It’s been on my mind recently because I’ve been reading a far better business book — “The Coaching Habit” by Michael Bungay Stanier.
While it can be summarised in one sentence — give less advice, ask more questions, let the other person speak more — it also has a ton of value inside and one of the biggest is the question
What do you really want here?
Admitting what we want
Most of the time,
- we don’t know what we really want
- when we do know, it’s the surface level desire
- and we prevent ourselves from knowing because we are afraid to say what we actually want
This makes us discuss ideas or solutions that don’t actually get to the core of what we want. When we can admit what we want — even when we feel like it’s selfish, impossible, or “not what people like us do” — we can find real solutions.
Those may mean compromises including ones that consider those factors, but they may not too. When we are clear about what we really want, it makes it a lot easier to make appropriate compromises and know when we shouldn’t.
Here’s a simple example
You might say “I want a more managerial role” and so gun for a promotion. But when you get down to what you really want, it’s more free time, but you’ve been conditioned to think 1. a more senior role is easier (The reverse can be equally true). 2. more money = more free time (but it can come with more overhead). 3. The more senior your role, the more likely you need to respond outside regular hours.
The better solution might be to go freelance, consult, or even take a lower paid, more hands on position but with more free time.
Now, that might be you, but it might not be you too. If you see that example and accept the conclusions without knowing what you really want, that’s a recipe for disaster.
What do I really want?
This is the part of the post where I should give a personal example to help illustrate it, but I can’t do that so easily.
You see, I’m not really sure yet.
But I have a new note in my obsidian vault and I’m using the 5 why’s technique to help dig deeper.
Maybe you just need a piece of paper, but I recommend you give it a go.
In a couple of weeks, I’m going on a work trip to the mountains. So, naturally, I’m looking at picking up a “cheap” drone to play around with. I was investigating the DJI mini 3 (or a second hand mini 1 even) but somehow I’ve found myself looking at the FPV drones!
Actual footage of me before and after drinking coffee.
Jacob Collier is my happy place. A couple of years back I thought he as talent but I wouldn’t really put his stuff on. Now It’s on repeat. Djesse 4 is fantastic.
I had been using Obsidian a lot less for a couple of months but I’m back again! But I know it doesn’t gel for a lot of people. If you use a similar but different app, I’d love to know what you’ve found.
Had some dust on my camera lens (easter photos all had a black dot at the bottom) so I cleaned my sensor for the first time yesterday. Much easier than I thought it would be!
Just stumbled across a life planner thing that comes in a fancy black box. I don’t want a life planner notebook, but I really want a fancy black box with cards worksheets, etc (oh and it just so happens to have a notebook).
It’s amazing how packaging can affect your mind.
I’ve started using the health apps “log your mood” feature and I love it. It’s a nice prompt. I’m also intentionally trying to turn negative feelings into positive ones (I.e. I had a few unpleasant logs about work so I picked a fun task. My next work log was pleasant. )
Interesting little fact. We tend to be more optimistic about our local area than our nation. I.e. we think [crime/vandalism/unemployement] is worse on a national level than a local one.
Earlier this year I read Gospel Allegiance by Matthew W Bates. It argues that the greek word we frequently translate as “Faith” might be best understood as Allegiance (even though Bates acknowledges that Pistis means faith/faithfulness/trust. This was a detail I missed in my first reading but caught when preparing the sketchnote.) The standout parts are where he breaks down Paul’s explanation of the Gospel in 1 Corinthians and explaining how works are necessary.
I really enjoyed making this one, mainly because I love any excuse to use a gold leaf layer in procreate.
Finished reading: Jesus Through Middle Eastern Eyes by Kenneth E. Bailey 📚very interesting cultural insights into core gospel passages (the nativity, the Lord’s Prayer, preaching in Nazareth).
I’m currently reviewing an article for work where we have lots of lists with categories that sometimes have two or more elements. Semicolons, your time has come!
Currently watching the afterparty season 2. I loved season 1, season 2 is solid but doesn’t feel as good as my biased memory of season 1. My wife and I signed up for Apple TV+ again to watch it. I like flicking between streaming services as there’s always something really great then.
I wonder how similar Trump and MAGA are to the “great awakening”s. Taking a very sceptical view of religion, I think it makes sense.
- traveling speaker
- big events
- converts
- changes in doctrin /theology
- influencencing American culture.
The exceptional part seem to be that he’s a politician.
Over the weekend I got this £5 rip off Apple Watch band. I love it. Great colour, great feel, secure fit.
The rest is history series on Martin Luthor has been fantastic. Episode 4 brought up the issue of individual interpretation of the Bible. It’s something I’ve been reflecting on after Brad East’s article last year and taking a class on hermenutics.
A change to my morning routine
For the longest time I’ve put coffee on first thing in the morning; not anymore. We got coffee beans not grinds recently and — combined with the changing on the clocks that have made my kids finally not wake me up at 5 every. single. morning — I now have a little pause first thing. So I grab a glass of water, do a meditative prayer, and then read while hand grinding my coffee. The coffee is so much better than the store ground or when we used our blender to grind it.
I’m extremely grateful to regain this moment of silenced and stillness at the start of the day. I’ve been struggling with feeling so rushed but starting slowly is the perfect cure.
Made this for Easter.
The outline is a single line, I used a gold leaf clipping mask for the tomb and another grey layer for the stone.
One of the reasons I use yellow/ orange in my sketches is my interest in iconography.
